He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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