the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
