what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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