your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
