his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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