Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
