He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
