her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
