I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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