At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He shit in the fireplace
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
