I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
