Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
