Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
