get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
