oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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