BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
