oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
