My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How does one acquire holy water?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
