Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
