Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
