At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
