I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
