Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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