Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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