i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
