She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize