would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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