it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Your penis caused this!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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