As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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