The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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