This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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