Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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