what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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