i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's never too late to be topless.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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