That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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