I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
