Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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