im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
