Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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