i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
