I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize