Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
