I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
