Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
