I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
