i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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