Little spoons don't ask big questions
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
