I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
