Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
