Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
