my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
