so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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