Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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