i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
