he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
