who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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