DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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