you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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