so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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