Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
