You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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