If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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