i would punch a child for taco bell
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
