Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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