New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
