she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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