He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
