He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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