I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
