you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
