It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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