told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
