So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
