Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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